To Thalia

for Peter Kirkpatrick

 

1.

These days poetry’s all about extravagance:

like the way a string of sausages

impersonates an approaching train and promises

a full belly for some, lateness for another

and for others yet again that they’ve missed

the same old, same old and discovered instead

the tail of everybody else’s head —

like how dawn in the west means darkness

in the east; or it’s like a guitar

of harbour ripples,  two overlapping

pennies mourning the passing of another

super tanker;  or like how a fart

makes castanets of buttocks or a pool table

reincarnates Heraclitus, even if

we are not gods, or at least, not yet

 

2.

despite the enormous coat-hanger pegging

out a highway between two pylons and hanging

empty air, or the scattered dice of selfish

waterfront apartments, remnants of a god-

sized game of ‘Room-with-a-view-to-die-for’ that’s been

played to death. And no one is laughing — rats

among the chandeliers flash gold teeth

and their leathery wives wrinkle slitty eyes.

Only their champagne bubbles burst with laughter,

but don’t let that fool you. There are other,

less fun games: trains are incompetent

games of billiards, cannoning but never scoring

and out of the corner of my eye the city

plays hide-and-seek with the back of my head.

But these are distractions only, like all games

 

3.

where winning can be dismissed as an act of grace

and losing an unnecessary annoyance.

It’s a bit like knowing it’s all bullshit

but doing it anyway. Or is it like you, Thalia,

reaching out a crook from stage left

to pull off those acts past their use-by date

and peeking cheekily from the wings, mouthing,

“Did you like that? Should I do it again?”

If only you would do it more! And give

something to the over-confident skyscrapers

 to think about, if the novice acupuncturist

of the city skyline can be said

to think at all. The sky receives the therapy

it needs and arches its back gratefully above us,

mood heavenly. And we’re thankful:  indolent

 

4.

days are better than dies irae — except when

you abandon us, Thalia,  pack up your mask

and leave us with only the laughter of politicians

 (an oxymoron, I know) and the sideways anti-

clockwise D, or upside-down smile

of the bridge. A slowly swaying yacht

recovers its silvered mast from the water

and casts it out again. The harbour is full

of blue beer and the sun is an extra

whose wages have been paid by the yachties.

It’s the end of a long shoot. Seagulls

interrupt the afternoon’s rehearsal

of autumn with shrill asides; they’re a gesture

stolen from a cocktail party, let loose

in the sky to their own wheeling applause.

Ferries circulate through the bloodstream

 

 

 

5.

of the port, commuter-positive

and a computer crashes into the sea

of information and sinks without trace.

But there is always a trace, isn’t there,

Thalia, to remind us of the other

selves we’ve become and even without

you, there is still your Cheshire Cat

smile. In the distance a child’s mosquito

whine starts up and those tiny muezzins

siphon off my happiness, erecting

fragile minarets up and down

my bare legs and arms. Somewhere a baby

is crying with a mouth like a torn scone

and it still seems vaguely funny, like a miracle

cut out of the back of a Cornflakes packet:

 because these days we’re accustomed to seeing

God only in the heads of our beers

 

6.

(Bernhard) and rainbows cause tooth decay

(Garcilaso de la Vega). I’ve had it

with this city. It’s all sneer and veneer,

isn’t it Thalia? That’s why I have to write

to you, because you’re elsewhere. And there’s not

much choice: Canberra is a hospital

with the roof taken off; Adelaide’s the dark side

of the moon, a regimented folly (Bail),

and Brisbane, well, it’s not much better than steam

on stilts —too hot but not as far away

as Perth and less unspeakable than Melbourne.

But that’s no reason to fail to choose another

city. Each one has its shitty gems,

 a camel sniffing at the rail with a resentful

nostril (Brodsky) or the rotting fingers

of Walsh Bay’s piers gloved by the harbour.

 

 

7.

That’s the reason why you were last of the Muses,

Thalia — comedy must saunter in

behind the rest and mercilessly take

the piss out of history and hymns,

of tragedy, erotica, the lyric

 and astrology, of music, dancing

and that clunker, epic — please don’t baulk

at being told by me what you should do:

just do the opposite (bravado’s the key).

That’s the reason why you should be here:

 last continent, first city, chock-

a-block with gritty charms like sluggos

clogged with sand after a savage dumping;

and, in the distance, there’s a gum-ringed field

 I could buy after decades of nine to five

and then fester in more bald than alive.

 

8.

So here I am on an Erskineville verandah

under the airborne moss of a jacaranda

floating above my head at night — and still

I keep returning to the harbour, jagged

wet caiman snouting the humid plain

of Sydney because I can’t be anywhere else,

Thalia, I’m snookered in this dumb city

of brilliant hazards and dull comparisons

with Rio, San Diego, etcetera dice

me with boredom. But one of these days

you’ll come waltzing in through the heads

of my imagination (Krishnamurti)

and that will suffice to slay them in the aisles

and flay the cured hide of this city,

unearthing at last its pink nascent laughter.